It definitely hasn't been a secret that I have been going through a season of great change and uncertainty. While I have certainly weathered the worst of that storm (I hope, ha!), there has been this lingering sense of uneasiness as I have marched through this "new" life, trying to figure out where I am headed and what I am supposed to be doing. As usual, I have really been battling the war that happens in my mind. The enemies of fear, doubt, and insecurity have been fighting hard to keep a seat at my table, and if I am being honest, I have been giving them the best seat in the house. This past month I have truly spent too much time fretting over missed opportunities, current opportunities, making the right decisions.... am I where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing or am I really missing something here. Now that I am on my own and solely taking care of myself, I have really been worried that I am making bad life choices. Am I following the Lord's will or am I following pipe dreams? Am I listening and obeying, or am I pushing my own agenda? Am I being faithful or stupid? Depending on the outcome, those can look the same sometimes! I continue to find myself on this journey of learning to surrender everything, and trust that the Lord has it covered, even when I don't feel like I can hear him! Andy Stanley prayed this prayer at the end of a sermon titled "Ekklesia Part 2" (You can find it on YouTube! @northpointcommunitychurch ) While it was meant as an invitation for new believers to accept Christ, I felt like it was a big wake up call for this seasoned believer. I have prayed this little prayer every morning since to remind myself that surrender needs to happen daily. "No more running." (striving, stressing, fretting, worrying, doubting) "No more resisting." (being fearful of where He might send, or what He has planned because it may not line up with what I have planned for my life.) "I'm yours." I am sharing this with you all, just in case you are like me and need a daily reminder of who you belong to and who is in charge. I guess I will forever be a work in progress (especially in the trust department), but I think that is the point of life, to keep growing and learning and taking steps towards being more "kingdom" minded. Thanks for following along with me on this crazy journey that is my life! I am so thankful for you all. Blessings to you this week! Let's try to rest in HIS plan and take it one day at a time.
xo, Roxie